The Marina Dock Newsletter MAY 2007
Dear Marina Dock Members
and Patrons:
Thank you one and all for your financial support and the many
other unique gifts of sobriety each one of you brings to the
whole San Francisco Marina Dock recovery experience. One would
be hard pressed to find a more vibrant and eclectic group of
individuals anywhere on the planet. We are grateful to have
such generous supporters Individually of course, any one of
us can have our moments, but when "the rubber hits the
road" we are there for each other no matter what, and that
has to be comforting and reassuring especially to the countless
number of new people who come through our doors daily. Your
support is the glue that holds this whole thing together and
you have never faltered when called upon in our hour of need.
My sister Bernadette recently paid
a visit from Ireland, this is the same sister I had not seen
in over fourteen years, and she said her daily visits to the
Marina Dock were the highlight of her short stay. She was overwhelmed
by the camaraderie and unconditional love people showed for
each other, she jumped straight in and felt at home right from
the get-go. We took a trip down the coast and took in a few
meetings along the way. She came with me to an open meeting
in Morro Bay and being a visitor in a small town they asked
yours truly to be the chairperson (speaker). This was a really
cool experience, the first time that anyone of my family had
ever heard me share at an AA meeting; she was very impressed
and found the entire format and meeting spiritually uplifting.
We spent the weekend in Santa Barbara where we met up with my
other sister Martha whom I had not seen in probably ten years,
we spent a couple of days immersed in a collective family healing
, and promised to stay connected as we continue to trudge the
road to happy destiny, one day at a time.
wreckage of my past
All this reconnecting
with family members and the rekindling of earlier childhood
memories can bring up some not so pleasant feelings and emotions.
I am sure I am not the only one who has had that experience?
When we arrived back in the city I took a ride down memory
lane pointing out a few locations to my sister. I showed her
where I lived for the last three years of my drinking and the
first three years of sobriety. I started to remember what it
was like in those early years when it seemed like every day
lasted a hundred years. I was in the words of a fellow member
"stark raving sober." Constantly getting into some
useless argument over something frivolous being always right
of course becoming very sanctimonious and self-righteous when
challenged and I would usually try to have the last word by
shooting back with some acerbic and mean spirited riposte.
One time I got into
one such argument with my employer, that ended with me stomping
off and sulking in my quarters A short time later, this same
frail old lady appeared at my door and handed me a paper entitled
"Flare-Up Periods." She proceeded to tell me the story
behind the paper and all of a sudden, God is again back in my
life and doing for me what I could not do for myself. It turns
out her former husband had a lot of years in the fellowship
when they lived back east in Duluth, Minnesota. She told me
she had pretty much given up on her husband ever getting sober
when one dark night in the depths of winter and in the depths
of her despair, two big strapping Irishmen came to their door
on a 12 step call and took him to an A.A meeting. This definitely
piqued my interest as she had never mentioned her husband before,
I asked her how it worked out for him and she said he stayed
sober for a number of years then relapsed, and that as far as
she knew he was now remarried and sober again about twenty years.
Flare-Up Periods
-
The
term "flare-up periods" or "flare-ups"
refers to definite time periods during which the recovering
or recovered alcoholic experiences an increased amount of
tension, nervousness and anxiety. Should he return to the
use of alcohol, it would most likely be during one of the
flare-up periods. It is important, therefore, that the recovering
or recovered alcoholic, his family, his friends, his employer
and anyone else who may plan an important role during these
periods become aware of how to recognize the onset of a flare-up
period and what to do when one occurs.
-
Flare-up
periods are difficult to describe or to put your finger on.
They are something that the recovering or recovered alcoholic
normally does not have control of. Once a flare-up begins
there is a tendency for it to snowball and at the end of the
day the affected person feels so terrible that he or she is
more likely to take a drink during these periods of time.
-
Flare-ups
occur at predictable intervals: 5 to 6 days, 5 to 7 weeks,
5 to 7 months, 11 to 13 months, 17 to 24 months, 41/2 to 5
years, 10 to 12 years. The flare-up, which occurs in the 17
to 24 month range, is, in most cases, quite severe and intense.
However, it is normally the last one that the person will
experience to this degree until the 10 to 12 year range. Most
recovering alcoholics will experience flare-ups. This is the
reason most people return to drinking after periods of sobriety.
The question is the intensiveness of these flare-ups. For
some they are very intense in the first several months, for
others they are intense during the middle months, and for
others the intenseness occurs in the 17 to 24 month range.
-
Factors
in recognizing the onset of a flare-up include feelings of
irritability, moodiness, boredom, restlessness, difficulty
in eating and sleeping. These emotional states grow in intensity
and come to a peak normally lasting about three days. There
are rare occasions when they last longer. During the three-day
or more period, the recovering or recovered alcoholic may
be extremely depressed and irritable. He may feel that all
is hopeless, that things are not what he thought, and he may
display outbursts of anger for almost no obvious reason because
of something which would ordinarily be considered insignificant.
There may also be physical signs indicating the approach of
a danger period. He may develop aches and pains, he may perspire
more than ordinary, or he may have headaches.
-
There
also may be other behavioral changes. Many people talk about
"dry drunk." Many times an affected individual will
display symptoms very closely related to those of an intoxicated
person even though the individual has not had an alcoholic
beverage. These changes are sometimes so slight that they
would be passed off without undue attention unless one is
watching for them. Uncharacteristically juvenile behavior,
unreasonable giggling and joy, expression of weirdness, restlessness,
boredom, and a sudden concern about his health, job, family,
loneliness, etc., are just a few of such behavioral
changes.
What to Do
-
The
first step in dealing with a flare-up is to expect them and
watch for the aforementioned signs.
-
When you suspect that you are entering a flare-up period,
seek help from someone who will understand what you are going
through: your counselor or therapist, your spouse, a fellow
group member, Alcoholics Anonymous, a Priest or religious
figure or a good friend (who won't offer you a drink!) are
all possible sources of help. Sometimes just phoning someone
to talk to, going for a drive or working on a hobby will help
reduce the tension of a flare-up. Exercise is very important.
Proper diet and getting the correct amount of sleep are just
as important. In other words, putting the body back on a routine.
In any case, get involved. Keep busy. Do some volunteer work;
re-evaluate educational goals. There are a number of organizations,
social and fraternal clubs, churches, that can help.
-
Realize that the storm will pass. Flare-ups usually last about
three to four days, or more (rarely more). After it passes,
things will return to normal again.
-
Do not take a drink. One drink will set off a chain reaction
and you will find yourself completely soused and right back
where you started.
-
Learn to enjoy the rewards of your sobriety and the good feeling
of being sober and giving and doing for others - learn to
enjoy this. Take pride in your good points and appreciate
what you have going for you.
-
Realize there is no cure - only complete abstinence. The first
drink is a psychological trickster.
Workshop
The Trusted Servants
Workshop Committee of the Inter-County fellowship of Alcoholics
Anonymous Serving San Francisco and Marin Counties is pleased
to present an IFB and GSR Trusted Servants Workshop.
Four knowledgeable speakers will talk on the roles of the Inter-County
Fellowship Board Representative and General Service Representative.
Learn how they connect your group to our local Central Office
and AA as a whole.
Where:
Central Office, 1821 Sacramento Street, San Francisco
When:
Saturday, May 19th, 10 AM to 12 NOON
Coffee and snacks
will be provided for more information call Patty M. at (415)
923-9883 or Monika H. at (415) 618-0426
The Marina Dock encourages all our
members and patrons to support this workshop we need people
who have experience in service positions to help out the AA
meetings at 2118 Greenwich Street. In fact, we need people with
long-term service experience in AA to conduct a secretary's
workshop at the Marina Dock. English Gayle and Lena had a great
secretary's workshop some years ago; maybe Lena will come and
help out with setting up a format? If you would like to get
involved, email me and we can get things started.
Have a great summer, If you have a
buck or two to spare we could use some help. If you are broke
and depressed come on down, feel the love, and lose yourself
in the service of others. I think I finally found a guy to do
some grant writing for us. Who knows what will happen next,
we just have to be painstaking and patient.
Yours, with Gratitude
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