The Marina Dock Newsletter AUGUST 2007
Ðear Marina Dock
Members and Patrons alike:
This month's newsletter
is dedicated to the memory of Silas Owen P (Si P) 1919-2007.
Si was a leader and
trusted servant in the truest sense of the word. He touched
the lives of thousands of individuals across several generations
in recovery. Si was a larger than life individual, humble and
humorous, never boring; a person who put others first and in
the spirit of our Fourth Traditions rule 62, he never took himself
too seriously. Although I knew him for close to a quarter of
a century in the fellowship, over the last few years we did
most of our sharing and commiserating at Costco where we were
both regular shoppers. I took a few Step Tens with Si between
the Flat screen TV's and the Men's Casual section.
"Silas was a
deeply spiritual man who loved life. Lived it to the fullest
and thanked God every day for his blessings." A memorial
service will be held at the First Unitarian Church (Geary
and Franklin) San Francisco on Saturday September the 8th,
2007 at 2.00 PM. The best way to honor Silas would be to practice
love compassion and forgiveness."
San
Francisco, Chronicle -2007
From Wade
D, Some thoughts about Si P...
Irish Tony asked me
to give him some insight relative to my friendship with Si over
a forty-one year span. I am delighted to do so. Si was not my
sponsor-he was my mentor. I had enjoyed sixteen years of sobriety
when I moved to San Francisco. My sponsor, Don, lived in Kansas
City. Now, in a new location, my relationship with Si could
be described as a "reverse mentor" situation. I had
more sobriety than Si but I was disgruntled with trying to fit
in with San Francisco AA...perhaps it was a minor league dry
drunk on my part.
Si's great touch got
me back on track. In retrospect, I could not have made a better
choice. Our friendship blossomed over the years and included
good-natured ribbing. Si's obituary mentioned, "His family
was the joy of his life." Si was a very open person. At
the 5 o'clock Bank Meeting it was apparent he had great affection
for his wife, Judy. We all grew to know the peccadilloes of
sons Tony, Barnaby, and Nick. When any one of the three boys
got off Si's reservation he would outline to us the nature of
the misdemeanor along with his airtight solution. Subsequently,
we would ask Si as to the penalty he imposed. Si would relate
how any of the three boys would listen with rapt attention and
then make an observation that neatly poked a hole in Si's reasoned
approach. Then Si would burst out laughing and exclaim "I'm
outwitted every time...they are the greatest! -I love them very
much." Si was unique! In my book Si was a role model in
the practice of the 12 Steps, especially number 12: "Having
had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we tried
to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles
in all our affairs." Tony, in summary I don't think I can
do any better in remembering Si than my letter on Si's 35th
birthday. You will note the letter is not the sackcloth and
ashes approach to sobriety-it is sprinkled with appropriate
good humor.
Letter
from Wade D to Si P
My old friend, I
congratulate you on your 35th birthday, along with a warm
and good wish for continuity of sobriety, a day at a time,
or until 2017 when your social security folds. In 1966, Pauline
and I moved from Chicago to San Francisco. I was introduced
to meetings in church basements, which included bad coffee.
At these meetings I would lead off with "My name is Wade
D. from Chicago." The usual reply was "Welcome,
Wade, you will like it here. Keep coming back." Then
a little small talk followed by an unduly quick exit to visit
with friends. How I longed for friendly near north side Chicago
AA where we met in homes and sumptuous repasts were served
after the meetings (Si, I 'm very fickle. I've known for a
long time that SF meetings are the best).
My self-esteem was
sinking until one Friday at a City of Paris AA lunch I sat
next to you. We hit it off. You indicated that you were going
to speak the following night at an East Bay meeting. You asked
me to drive over with you and, also, would I handle the preliminaries
and introduce you. I was delighted. Through you, as time went
on, Pauline and I met other people with whom we developed
lasting friendships. Occasionally, we would get together for
dinner. As I recall, there were you and Judy, Richard O'L,
Ken K, Ron B, Bill S, Ted F (now deceased) and Chuck G (now
deceased) with a female friend. Lighthearted talk ensued at
the dinner, which triggered humor and laughter. We took the
program seriously but not ourselves. Apparently, whatever
we did worked. Our friends listed above have enjoyed 30 plus
years of continuous sobriety. Now I want to touch on some
humorous aspects that happened at those meetings:
Wednesday 5:00 pm Bank Meeting:
You will recall that traditionally it was a men's
stag. One Friday, two women showed up. Radio Free Freddy of
Sacramento fame promptly announced that they were not welcome.
The rest of us decided it would be in order to vote on this
unique situation. We all voted "Yes." Radio Free
said "No." The women stayed. Freddy exited. From
then on out, we were a mixed meeting. Laurence of America:
He would arrive late, hover around the doorway, take issue
with whoever was speaking, insult them, tell us the coffee
and rolls were better at other meetings, vow never to return.
And always showed up the following week.
The Forum
Meeting at Children's Hospital: Following this meeting
several of us would adjourn for refreshments at the nearby
Red Roof coffee shop. The waitress assumed us to be physicians-addressed
us as doctors. We did nothing to dissuade them. One evening,
you or Ray B, were speculating as to what might happen should
a waitress confront a medical emergency - which of us would
respond? We had a spirited debate. We finally nominated Henry
K, as he looked the part of a medical man. Happily, we were
never faced with the situation.
Center table,
Grant Avenue Alano Club: The worst food in town coupled
with vigorous table talk. Everyone an authority-usually about
someone else's field. Maxim: Seldom right, but never in doubt.
The heated arguments between Ted F, President of Triangle
Trucking, and Teamster official, Ken W. You were usually the
arbiter in attempting to cool things down. We plotted Ted
F's birthday roast - you were master of ceremonies. The "roasters"
were Chuck G, Bill S, Richard M, Ron B, and I. The pièce
de résistance was the anonymous, scantily clad, well-endowed,
young lady who jumped out of the cake. It was rumored she
was a center table regular but we'll never know, as she was
masked to conceal her identity.
425 Battery
Meeting: The small elevator would become overloaded
and at times we would be stuck between floors. Often you would
challenge "No God" Betty at this noon meeting, which
insured a lively discussion. I can still hear you say, "Now
Betty, you really don't believe what you just said."
Betty: "Yes, I most certainly do!" Then it would
get interesting.
Frank B
's Seven Seas Club: Primary purpose was for rehabilitation
of alcoholic seamen with open AA meetings playing a fundamental
role. There was a sprinkling of business people, lawyers,
politicians, homeless, priests, nuns and prostitutes. This
notwithstanding, it was solid AA with occasional salty language.
Si, your great story of the club (you were brand new and still
pretty shaky). You thought you were hallucinating when you
saw Admiral N in dungarees painting a wall. Brennan assured
you it really was the Admiral-a non alcoholic-who often volunteered
for mundane tasks at the club. You were so relieved to know
you might be shaky but still sane.
701 Montgomery
Noon Meeting: The mystery woman who never revealed
her first name. She was a bag lady who placed personalities
over principles. We were peppered with caustic, personal remarks.
We did not take umbrage as one of our more curious noticed
a pistol in her bag. Included in her personal effects were
several wigs of diverse colors. She was deft in changing them
several during the meeting. It was unnerving to sit next to
her-you would see a blonde-turn your head for thirty seconds-and
find yourself with a redhead. At one time, we elected a young
male hairdresser a treasurer. He was also the coffee maker.
Instead of doughnuts he provided us with great pastries and
imported cheeses. The coffee was never better. One noon he
didn't show up. We found there was no money in our group treasury.
We estimated that he spent about half on us and left town
with the other half. We shared the blame. We had elected as
treasurer a young alcoholic with only seven months of sobriety.
Bad judgment.
No more vignettes. Si, you and
I always felt AA is a program of joy while attempting to live
in the now. We parted slightly on the "now' bit. You
may recall from the Bank meeting that I was an advocate of
selective procrastination. In my book you were a role model
in working the program. You adhered to the principles of not
saying "No" when asked to speak, of not saying "No"
to a 12 Step call, of often saying, "Yes", when
asked to sponsor someone. These all required a heavy demand
on your time. I know that you as a lawyer contribute substantial
pro bono time to the alcoholic who still suffers and to others
in the fellowship. If wishes were airplanes Pauline and I
would ride out to join you, Judy and your sons, together with
a host of AA friends to celebrate your 35th birthday. No can
do. Si, I not only love you - I like you! You are a good guy.
Dear Irish Tony:
Silas P literally
saved my life but it did not start out that way. About 30 years
ago my then wife called AA and they referred to me to Si. I
never knew or heard of him but his Secretary told me he was
a Lawyer so I thought he was going to refer me a case. He said
"let's have lunch in Chinatown". I enthusiastically
agreed thinking pressed duck, a nice white wine preceded by
a couple of Martini's. We were walking down Grant Ave. and we
came upon some weather beat sick green stairs. I thought maybe
Si knew some inside information on a great Chinese restaurant
that few people knew about-you know an understated gem. I walked
up the stairs and the first thing I saw was some guy eating
his lunch out of a brown bag, then I saw a pool table and a
Hamburger stand. I asked Si what the hell is this place? He
said my wife called AA and this was the Alano Club.
Jesus I was truly pissed off. I stormed out of the place crossed
Grant Ave went to the top floor of a Chinese Bar and closed
the place15 hours later. It was the worst hangover
ever.
About 4 days later
when I got sober I called Si and apologized for my behavior
and he took me to my first meeting in North Beach. He encouraged
me to help other attorneys with a like history and prejudice
against AA. We formed the Other Bar and Si was the first speaker.
That first meeting was at 100 Van Ness Ave where my law office
was located. Si had agreed to speak at the last meeting of the
Other Bar, which is set for July 30, 2007 (the Building is up
for sale and they are asking users to leave). I can say without
question that Silas P spoke to, and helped every new or old
lawyer that had a drinking or drug issue encouraging them to
join the fellowship. He was the Other Bar years before
that organization was formed. I had Breakfast with him about
one month ago-after a Sat morning meeting. He told me that his
prostate cancer-that they thought they licked with it's removal
had returned and he asked me to feel a lump in his neck that
was evidence his time was limited. I was cocked but he was totally
with it--he said, "God has been good to me. I should have
been dead years ago. Instead he gave me the opportunity to get
sober and help others. What more can one ask for? Si P was the
real deal! I bet bucks he is now holding hands with Frank B,
Earl M and all of the others who helped so many over the years.
Edwin
C, San Francisco
Si was a regular at
The Marina Dock, he loved the place and supported us over the
last 22 years. We are in need of your support now more than
ever, so we can make 12 step work a reality and help the many
individuals who come through our doors every day. I spoke at
a Wednesday 10:00 PM meeting recently and there were 11 new
comers in the room, all in their twenties.
Yours, with Gratitude
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